[Standing in the center of a white room, Deadpool waves at the audience, or rather in this case the readers.] Hi there! Obviously I don't need any introductions, the red and black suit, the gorgeous body... but probably the writer on the other hand...
[Wade, I think you are supposed to call me Mun, or something...]
[He raises a brow and looks upward.] I am not calling you Mun, Yodie. [Looks back towards the audience and gives a slight shrug of his shoulders.] It's a personal choice... like pineapple on pizza.[He gives a nod as if that would clear it up.]
[Wade, we're digressing...]
You're digressing Writer-Person-Yodie-Thing-Mun, I am just a "character". [Using hand quotations to emphasize his amused sarcasm.]
[Wade, do you want to go back on the shelf? Because this is how you go back on the shelf.]
[Points back upwards while looking at the audience.] See! See what I have to deal with?! Bossy-Britches-Archer-Wannabe wants to stick me back on the No Love but Self Love shelf. I can't go back... [Dramatically falls to his knees, raising his hands wildly in the air.] My people need me! [Takes a deep exaggerated inhale and then lets out a wailing sob.] WHY?! WHY MUST YOU FORSAKE ME?!
[Oh for the love of... Would you cut it out?]
[Reels back and falls on the floor, clasping his hands to his chest.] It's so cold! The room is getting dark... [Gasps for air and coughs, reaching a hand out into the air] My body is going numb... [Makes a quick glance at the audience] A perfect time to perform "The Stranger"..